Always

The other day I came to the conclusion that I tend to get a lot more sentimental around New Year’s vs. at Christmas time.  I think the reason why is that in the days leading to December 31^st it is one big retrospect of both the good and bad things that filled the last year.

As I look back at this year, it was filled with lots of changes for me.  I said goodbye to my father as he passed away in June.  I moved out of where I had lived for quite some time and quit my job to move halfway around the world.   I live in a new country where I am constantly learning new things about the culture, the language and where doing such a simple task like going to the grocery store can still be the most exhausting chore I do. 

There have been many blessings this year as well.  I have made so many new friends who are an answer to prayers prayed by so many before I came to Jordan.  I have been reminded of the great group of friends that I have back home who have shown me more love and support than I could ever imagine.  I have a family who faithfully prays for me and for all my new friends. 

Most of all I am growing closer to my Savior.  Each day Jesus takes me to a deeper place with Him and I am learning how to be constantly in His presence throughout my day.  As this lesson penetrates deeper into my heart, I trust Him more.  As I stay in His presence throughout the day, He is changing my heart and making me into the person He wants me to be.  He is pouring his infinite wisdom in my heart, soul, and mind.

Am I feeling sentimental as 2012 comes to close?  Yes because in looking back, I see the faithful hand of God.  Tonight this song was played and it brought tears to my eyes and I sang it: 

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we’ve come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

                You are faithful, God, You are faithful

 Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Carried by Your constant grace

Held within Your perfect peace

                                                    Never once, no, we never walk alone

Every step we are breathing in Your grace

Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

                                                   You are faithful, God, You are faithful

He has been and will always be faithful!  Those are the most beautiful words and such a marvelous promise!   Happy New Year!

A Christmas To Remember

Yes I know it’s been quite a while since I have written in my blog.  It was a combination of things that kept me from writing.  One, I was busy teaching English, studying Arabic (where I’ve reached the point I have to study at least an hour a day!), meeting new friends both Arabs and foreigners….busy!  And then I wasn’t sure what to write.  Life seemed pretty routine and kind of boring!  But the last couple of weeks brought something to mind that I thought I would share with all of you.

As Thanksgiving was approaching I was excited!  I simply love the holidays, but then I remembered that I wasn’t in America celebrating this time of year. I started to feel a little homesick since.  And as I looked around Amman, there were very little signs that the holidays were upon us.  Thanksgiving day is just another day here.  Kids still go to school, and people still go to work.  The weekend that followed Thanksgiving I was seeing countless posts on facebook of people putting up their Christmas decorations and posting pictures.  That excited feeling I had because it was the holiday season soon turned back into that homesick feeling I had after first arriving here.  Holiday traditions were not going to happen this year and that made me sad.

As I was listening to some Christmas music that I have on my computer, a song came on called “A Christmas To Remember.”  The second verse of the song caught my attention:

I know it's true

Time doesn't stand still

Many things can change

But we know some things never will

The memories we share

The songs we always sing

The mystery of life

The hopefulness this season brings

And I have a dream or two

Maybe they will come true

Setting our hopes on a big snow tonight

We'll wake up to a world of white

It's gonna be a Christmas to remember

Light up the fire, play some Nat King Cole

Always sentimental and don't you know that

It's gonna be a Christmas to remember

Just because I don’t have my countless tubs of Christmas decorations to put up this year and because I’m not home doesn’t change what Christmas is all about.  This season brings hope.  It brought us all hope so long ago.  Heck, I’m so physically close to where it all happened!!!  It will be a different way of celebrating.  There are not decorations everywhere on the streets, but there are decorations in a few places I visit.  It feels like Christmas in Starbucks with the red cups and the Christmas music that’s been playing since before Thanksgiving!  This year I will just need to find it and look for it unlike at home where it’s everywhere you go! 

Don’t get me wrong, I will probably still have moments of sadness and there will probably be some tears.  I don’t think it would be normal if I weren’t a bit homesick and sad at Christmas time.  However, I can’t let those sad moments ruin this precious holiday!  I’m just choosing to look at this way….. this year it’s going to be a Christmas to remember!