Wednesday, April 30, 2014

It Was 7 years Ago Today


7 years ago today I felt lost and alone.  7 years ago today I couldn’t stop crying.  7 years ago today although I had a relationship with Jesus since I was a young child, I didn’t know what it meant to simply come to the end of myself and let Him in to the deepest part of me and completely take over who I was.  7 years ago today, I sat alone in a room with just my Lord and heard His voice for the first time.  7 years ago I gave Him so much of the hurt and anger that I had deep down inside.  It was so deep; I didn’t even know it was there.  7 years ago today, Jesus began to heal my heart and began teaching me what it means to die to my self and to let Him take over. 

7 years ago I experienced God in a way that I had never experienced Him before.  That experience brought me to a deeper place with Him where the only thing I could do is to be baptized again to show my commitment to Him and how that day I truly died and was a new creature in Christ. 

I am forever grateful for that day 7 years ago because I had no idea as I sat there alone crying out to my Savior how He would take that day and begin laying the foundation of what He wanted to teach me and make me more like Him.

I didn’t realize that on that day 7 years ago was the beginning of a refining process that the Lord wanted and needed to do in my heart.  He continues to chip away at all the junk that is in my heart and my head.  I will admit, that there are times where this refining process is not fun and uncomfortable because clinging to old ways is easier and more comfortable, but it is not freedom. 

Right now, I’m going through another time of refining.  There have been tears, praying and deep reflection as He molding me and working out the kinks.  We’re kind of in the messy process right now, but I know when He is done it will be beautiful and 7 years from now I will be reflecting on this time and be ever so grateful for what He did.