I have been in a little funk the last couple of weeks. So many of the friends that I have made while
here in Jordan have returned to their homelands.
Some of them have gone back for good and will not be returning to Jordan
while others are just gone or travelling for the summer. And then with the time difference and busy schedules of friends in the States, I haven’t even talked to friends back home too much
either. All this has lead to the blah
I’ve been feeling. A feeling of being
left behind and sad even though I will soon be the one on the plane heading back home.
I have come to really not like goodbyes. They are heartbreaking and so hard. I have to admit that I have thought that if I
didn’t have these connections with people whether the new friends I’ve made
here or the family and friends back home, then the goodbyes wouldn’t be as
hard. There would be no tears and I wouldn't give them a second thought and not miss them. When it came time for them to leave, it would just be a simple goodbye to the person and then back to my life and routine. But then what? What would my life look like if I didn't invest in people and allow them to invest in me?
During my time here in Jordan, I’ve realized how important
it is to form connections and have true community. To let people in, be vulnerable with them and
to form a true friendship. Each person
in my life has been used by the Lord to teach me things about Him, about
myself, and about how to be in relationship with others. As hard as all the goodbyes have been and as
hard as the last few weeks have been, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the
world because I have had the most incredible people enter my life, and now my
world of friends has expanded. I love each and every one of them.
I also wouldn’t trade all the heart break because my
relationship with the Lord has become deeper too. People will always come and go from our lives. Whether they move across an ocean and we don't get to see and talk to them often or because they leave this life. However, He is always there. My
constant companion and friend. My rock
and strength when life can be so overwhelming and so hard. And He is worth it all.
