A Christmas To Remember

Yes I know it’s been quite a while since I have written in my blog.  It was a combination of things that kept me from writing.  One, I was busy teaching English, studying Arabic (where I’ve reached the point I have to study at least an hour a day!), meeting new friends both Arabs and foreigners….busy!  And then I wasn’t sure what to write.  Life seemed pretty routine and kind of boring!  But the last couple of weeks brought something to mind that I thought I would share with all of you.

As Thanksgiving was approaching I was excited!  I simply love the holidays, but then I remembered that I wasn’t in America celebrating this time of year. I started to feel a little homesick since.  And as I looked around Amman, there were very little signs that the holidays were upon us.  Thanksgiving day is just another day here.  Kids still go to school, and people still go to work.  The weekend that followed Thanksgiving I was seeing countless posts on facebook of people putting up their Christmas decorations and posting pictures.  That excited feeling I had because it was the holiday season soon turned back into that homesick feeling I had after first arriving here.  Holiday traditions were not going to happen this year and that made me sad.

As I was listening to some Christmas music that I have on my computer, a song came on called “A Christmas To Remember.”  The second verse of the song caught my attention:

I know it's true

Time doesn't stand still

Many things can change

But we know some things never will

The memories we share

The songs we always sing

The mystery of life

The hopefulness this season brings

And I have a dream or two

Maybe they will come true

Setting our hopes on a big snow tonight

We'll wake up to a world of white

It's gonna be a Christmas to remember

Light up the fire, play some Nat King Cole

Always sentimental and don't you know that

It's gonna be a Christmas to remember

Just because I don’t have my countless tubs of Christmas decorations to put up this year and because I’m not home doesn’t change what Christmas is all about.  This season brings hope.  It brought us all hope so long ago.  Heck, I’m so physically close to where it all happened!!!  It will be a different way of celebrating.  There are not decorations everywhere on the streets, but there are decorations in a few places I visit.  It feels like Christmas in Starbucks with the red cups and the Christmas music that’s been playing since before Thanksgiving!  This year I will just need to find it and look for it unlike at home where it’s everywhere you go! 

Don’t get me wrong, I will probably still have moments of sadness and there will probably be some tears.  I don’t think it would be normal if I weren’t a bit homesick and sad at Christmas time.  However, I can’t let those sad moments ruin this precious holiday!  I’m just choosing to look at this way….. this year it’s going to be a Christmas to remember! 

A Funny Thing Happened At the Post Office

Well, since all of my blogs have had a bit of a serious tone, I thought this blog should be somewhat light!!!!  I mean if you can’t laugh at the things that happen around you, then you are simply missing out on how funny life is!!!!

I thought I would write about a recent experience where I had to pick up a package at the main post office.  This was probably one of the most entertaining things of my life!!!

I was told before coming here, that if packages were too big or if there was an especially high value placed on them, instead of being delivered to our little post office about a mile and half away, these suspicious looking packages are taken to the main post office downtown.  I was also told that going down there and picking them up is quite a pain and many times you have to pay a duty in order to take your package.   This actually has turned into an entertaining adventure for me!

So I received the dreaded notice that I had a package downtown!!!  The horror of it all!!!  My ever so helpful roommate drew me a map of how to get to the post office and then a map of the inside and all the places I would need to go BEFORE getting my package because the procedure is quite a procedure!    Now the fun begins!

So I wake up, get ready, grab my passport (because it was needed for ID) and with my trusty little map in hand along with my very important paper saying my packages was at the post office, I head out to get a taxi!  (My very helpful roommate also put down on my map how to say downtown post office in Arabic and if the driver still was not sure where or what I was talking about, a name of a very famous restaurant not too far from the post office)  The taxi driver either didn’t know what I was talking about or my Arabic was not very good so I simply say the name of the restaurant and then we’re off! 

He drops me off in front of the restaurant and I get out and begin walking to find my location.  I find it and go up the stairs.  I approach the main counter and hand my paper to the man at the counter.  Now in Jordan, I am finding that when you approach ANY counter, it’s this little game you do with the people working there. They look at you, continue talking to each other and act as if you are not there.  You make eye contact with them, clear your throat, and they look at you again only this time it's with a look that says “how dare you interrupt me” and they continue doing whatever it is they are doing.   It's now my turn to make a move so I again make some noise, make eye contact and give a look which says “will you please just do your job and help me."  After a few minutes, he approaches me and we both act like this whole exchange never happened.  And like I said, this happens pretty much everywhere!  Anyway, back to my story…..

The man at the counter takes my paper, looks up in this little binder notebook thing, finds another form and hands this 2^nd form to me.  He tells me in Arabic where I need to go and I pretend I understand him and proceed to the office around the corner.  Because remember, I have my handy dandy little map!!  I had my new form to the man behind the desk, show him my passport, he writes my name down on another piece of paper (which I think took him about 10 minutes to write.  Thanks mom and dad for naming me J-E-N-N-I-F-E-R) and takes my Jordan cell phone number and tells me to go out and wait.  He tells this to me in Arabic and again I pretend to understand exactly what he says.  I’m finding that the fact that I look Arab works to my advantage often and so I take full advantage of it!!! 

Now another fun little thing about Jordan is when you walk into a business such as the post office, you feel as if you have walked into a different time because everyone (or almost everyone) is sitting around and SMOKING!!!!  I mean seriously is this 1960??    It is the oddest thing ever for me!!!  The guy behind the counter, smoking.  The guy behind the desk, in between writing my info down, he is taking puffs!  And the other strange thing is I look up and there is a sign that says “No Smoking.”  Go figure!

Ok so I’m then summoned back into the smoky office and handed my package.  I have to go to another desk where 3 Jordan Custom Officers are sitting and one says to me, “open your package.”  Guess he caught on to the my pretend I'm Arab game!  I open it up, and when I look inside, I smile.  Inside this big bubble envelope are feminine products and lots of them!  I won't go into great detail here.  I then take each and everyone out of the envelope and it takes all I have to not burst out laughing!!!  There was also some dried fruit, pony tails holders, razors for shaving my legs and more feminine products!!!  The officer then looks at me and says, “Ok stop.”  I then pick up my stuff and put it back in the envelope and told to place it on the shelf in the office.  He signs my paper and tells me where to go next place.

I then take my little form to yet another smoke filled office, get another signature, am told to go to the office next door where yet another man is sitting behind a desk (not smoking surprisingly) and get another signature.  He then tells me to go back to the original counter and hand my form to yet another guy.  This would be the guy that I would give my money to had a duty been charge, but thankfully it was not.  He signs my form, looks at my passport, realizes that I’m in fact NOT Arab, but an American.  He tells me I can go and retrieve my package and leave.  4 signatures for one package!!!   

I get another taxi (where the driver is smoking as my first driver was) and take my goodies and my smoke filled self home!!!  And that’s the end of my story!!!!  Gotta love Jordan!!! J 

This story was brought to you by me, of course, and Katy Joy Pasion and Mary Wright who sent me this package!!!!J  Thanks girls! And I'm thinking that possibly Betsey Morales played a part in helping with the contents of this package!  :)  

Awkward!!

We’ve seen the scene in movies or TV shows…a high school student standing in the cafeteria with their tray of food walking and looking for a place to sit.  Thinking to themselves, “Can I sit there?  Or “maybe they will let me sit with them.”  Instead they sit by themselves because sitting alone seems like the only option and is a whole lot easier than getting rejected by others.

Being here in Jordan has made me feel like I’m in high school all over again.   One of my biggest fears that I have struggled with most of my life is the fear of rejection.  I think I’ve FINALLY have reached a point where I am feeling good about the friendships and people who are in my life back at home where that fear is not there, but I have to admit every once in a while it would creep up to the surface.  But it was ok when that fear would come up.  My friends know and love me so I can be myself and they accept me…flaws and all. 

But those people who love me and in whom I have built that trust with are an ocean away and now I am always meeting new people and then getting to know them.  This has made that fear come out, and I feel like that high school student from the movies standing there holding my lunch tray wondering where to go.  And when I am chatting with new people, I find these thoughts running through my head: “will they like me? Should I have said that?  That just made me sound so stupid!!!”  The comfort that I have with friends back home is absent here and there really isn’t anybody here that I can just be myself with and let it all go.  After all, I have just met these people and they don’t know me well.

I’m just amazed though at during those times when I have so many of the things running through my head and all those fears and insecurities are practically choking me that Jesus is right there and is gently reminding me of His great love for me.  This week, every place I went I was being reminded of that.  I read a book called “Jesus Is Calling” everyday.  The author has written the daily devotions as if Jesus is talking to you, which is so beautiful.  This is from Tuesday’s reading.  “…Nor can another person know the intimacies of your heart, mind and spirit.  I know everything about you – even the number of hairs on your head.  You don’t need to work at revealing yourself to Me.”    How comforting is that?  I don’t have to work at Jesus getting to know me because He already does!!!  I can just be myself around Him and He will love and accept me no matter what! 

While I knew coming here would be somewhat difficult as I missed people and things from home, at the same time I had no idea how difficult it would be.  How there would not be people around me who know me so well.  This week I was reminded that even though those people that Jesus has placed in my life are far away and I’m meeting new people, He is right here with me.  He knows me better than anybody back home does, than anybody here will know me, and even better than I know myself!!!!  I can rest in Him and run to Him. 

I claimed this verse before I left, but each day it is becoming more real in my life and I identify with Paul as he wrote it:  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  2 Corinthians 12:9.

I’m sure there will still be many times when I will feel like that high school girl standing in the cafeteria wondering where to go, who to talk to, and longing for acceptance.   But every time I cling to the truth that I am accepted and don’t believe the lies, then I will putting that fear behind me and no longer allowing it to control me.  And then…there will be a world of possibilities!

PS:  If you don’t have the book, Jesus Is Calling by Sarah Young you need to get it!  It’s amazing!

It Has Not Been a Bowl of Cherries

Shortly after arriving in Amman,  as I was getting ready for the day, my flat iron made a funny noise and small sparks came from it and then puff!  It was dead!  Standing there looking at my dead flat iron in shock (and being thankful that it didn’t start a fire) a wave of frustration came over me.  Now had this happen at home, I would have quickly jumped in my car, driven to “my” Target and purchased a flat iron and still make it on time to my event.  But I wasn’t at home.  I have no car and there is not a Target here.  How does one take care of this small problem in this country?

It was at this time that I became a bit homesick and little things would set off the homesickness even more.  It never occurred to me before leaving home that something as small and insignificant as my flat iron dying would make me feel homesick, but it did.  All last week, I was filled with emotions and feelings that I couldn’t understand let alone completely express to anyone because I wasn’t even sure how or what I was feeling.  I then began to think and self analyze what was going on here and then the last few days, it all came to me…absolutely EVERYTHING in my life is completely different!

Now when I say everything, I mean everything.   Amman is 10 hours ahead of California.  I’m now eating when I should be sleeping, and when I should be sleeping (and I have yet to have a good night’s sleep since being here) I am now eating!  The way I eat is different; the foods I eat are different.  The way I dress is different.  The way I run errands is different.  Heck even the way I shower and go to the bathroom are different!  (You can’t put toilet paper in the toilets here.  I can’t tell you how many times I have had to fish it out of the toilet before flushing!  Yes I know, GROSS!) The way I do laundry is different; the way I pay for things is different; the way I exercise is different (walking for exercise is not something that people do here so I do get a lot of stares!)  Everything in my life is completely different!!  All of my daily tasks that I wouldn’t have to think twice about when doing them at home are completely different.

I’m also a foreigner in this place I am living.  I don’t speak the language and have to think how to communicate my basic needs (of where I want to go to a taxi driver), what I’m looking for, how much something is, etc.  It is all so daunting and so exhausting!  Then I’m working with other Americans who do speak my language, but at times I feel like a foreigner there as well.  I feel like everyone around, whether speaking English or not, is speaking this other language and I am constantly trying to catch up and understand what everyone is talking about!  At times, I will pay the taxi driver more than I should simply because I don’t have in me to fight with him or if one of my co-workers is telling about something that I have no idea what they are talking about, I just smile and nod even though I’m clueless! 

All of this can make one feel isolated, alone, exhausted, cranky, etc, etc.  We like to be comfortable.  We like to feel like we are in control and can do pretty much everything and anything so when we are placed or put ourselves in situations where things are different or uncomfortable; we quickly try and get ourselves back to what we know.  Yesterday as I did my thing, I remembered that I needed to go to the place that I am familiar with and can bring me comfort.  Time alone with the Lord. 

In doing that I remember that He is not interested in me being comfortable and having my nice little cozy life.  He is interested in me and making me into the person He wants me to be.  He is interested in my hopes, dreams and fears so I took all of these feelings to Him.  As much as I would like to say that everything was fixed, they were not.  Today was another day of thinking, crying, learning, and even feeling a bit alone and was filled with failures.  It was another day of having to figure life out and how to communicate with everyone I came into contact with.   However I knew that my God would never change and that I can cling to Him even when I feel down and life isn’t a bowl of cherries. 

Long before I left, a friend of mine kept telling me that I needed to get out of my rut, and I can safely say to this person that I most definitely have gotten out of my rut!!!!  I’m learning that you discover all sorts of things about yourself and you see sides to yourself that you didn’t know existed when you get out of the familiar and into the unfamiliar.  It does take a toll on your emotions, but I can’t let it control my attitude.  Then another friend of mine said this to me.  Once I get settled here and all the newness of this place is gone,  I will go back home to the States and go through all of this again in reverse! Sigh……so not comforting!  

What about you?  Is it time for you to get out of your rut?  Especially in our American culture, we cling to our ruts because they bring us that sense of comfort.  Speaking as someone who is outside of my comfort zone 24 hrs. a day/7 days a week, part of me is longing for my rut!  However what I am slowly realizing is that we were not created to be in a rut.  Step out of your comfort zone and do something crazy and brave!!!  You will find a whole new level to yourself that you didn’t even know existed!!!  It’s scary, but as we trust God and the power of His Holy Spirit, we will be allowing Him to change us and will do great and mighty things!!! 

Get out of your rut!!!! 

PS:  I did get a new flat iron, but oh my gosh the ordeal I went through to get it and the expense!!!  Like I said, the simplest of tasks here is such an ordeal!  

My First Week In Jordan

Before arriving here in Jordan, I kept trying to imagine what life is like here and how much my life would change once arriving.  A few people who live here had tried to paint a picture for me as to what to expect, but let's face it, it is not until you are here and actually doing life here that you begin to gain some understanding.  I'm sure I will continue to learn new things about this country, the people and life but I wanted to give you a glimpse as to what daily life here is like.

Amman is a big city!!!!  There are cars everywhere driving like I have never seen before.  There are not really cross walks here that I have seen so when you need to cross, you just cross!  You watch and wait and then you walk like there is no tomorrow because the next car is coming and there is no such thing as "pedestrians have the right of way" here!  For those in Brentwood, picture crossing HIghway 4!  For those in SJ, picture crossing San Thomas Expressway and not using the crosswalk!  My means of transportation will either be walking or taking a taxi.  I have taken a taxi, but with one of my roommates not alone yet.  I'm not feeling confident quite yet to take a taxi myself, but I'm getting there.

Having the internet is wonderful and my saving grace!  I love getting online and seeing what people are doing and talking to people!  Thanks to the wonderful Mike Towns, when I have internet for my itouch, I am able to text and call people without it being an international call!  It's been great!  Because I don't have a car, I don't have that freedom to go where I want when I want, so it's nice to have the internet.

Thinking about what I am wearing has been a little strange.  No I don't have to wear skirts, pants (including jeans) are allowed.  For ladies, no shorts or tank tops!  It's also been strange to not see girls wearing shorts or tank tops, although last night as I was being brought home by one of my team members after having gone out to dinner, we saw a girl walking down the street wearing a tank top!  That was quite exciting!

The other thing quite fascinating is that here Friday is not a work/school day!  Everyone has it off.  Even the mall doesn't open till almost 2:00pm I heard.  Saturdays and Sundays are work days.  People here in Jordan work 6 days a week!  Some of the children's school schedule is Monday - thursday; Friday no school; back to school on Saturday; no school Sunday.  I'm not sure if this applies to all schools.

The other fun thing about Jordan is that most everything doesn't really begin here till about 10am.  So lunch tends to be as late as 2:00pm with dinner between 8:00 and 9:00pm.  The best time to hit restaurants is the 5:30/6:00pm hour because they are not busy at all!

I have enjoyed going to church Thursday night and then again on Sunday morning.  The Thursday night service seems to be more of a contemporary type service with Sunday being more of a traditional.  I enjoyed the Sunday morning more mostly because there was someone there interpreting in English where Thursday there wasn't so I had no idea what was going on!  However, it was fun at both services to watch the people worship!  They sung out each song and were so happy to be there!  It brought tears to eyes as I thought that no matter where you are, when the people of God come together, even if you can't understand it is the same Holy Spirit there.

I hope that gives you somewhat of an understanding of what life is like here so far.  I'm excited to see what things are in store for me.  There have been many many times during this week where I have been  completely outside of comfort zone, but then I think even though it's painful it's good for me to stretch myself.  I will continue to write as I walk through this journey.  Please text or call me whenever!  (even the middle of the night for me!)  I smile when I wake up in the morning and see text messages and FB messages!

My roommates made this for me and put it on my bedroom door

My bedroom!  Not really liking sleeping on a twin bed but it's one of
those things that is stretching me!

This is my closet and dresser!  I am filling it with the pictures
and cards that have been given to me!

This is the living room as seen when you walk through the
front door

This is the "formal" dining room.  

This is the kitchen.  The only thing it does not have is
a dish washer.

Another view of the kitchen.  It is quite big

Yes we have a toilet AND bidet (a butt cleaner!)
And no I don't use it!

The view from my bedroom window

The view at night.  What you can't see is the big hotel that
changes the color of lights!  Kind of cool!

My "flat" from the outside